


the next guest

by princessoftheworlds



Series: it's (not) all an act [6]
Category: Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Screenplay/Script Format, Talk Shows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:01:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27498376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessoftheworlds/pseuds/princessoftheworlds
Summary: Ianto and Jack appear on Late Night With Bill Potts as guests. Backstage, they bump into a surprise ex of Jack's.
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness/Rose Tyler
Series: it's (not) all an act [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1927099
Comments: 17
Kudos: 48





	the next guest

**Author's Note:**

> Hellllllllo! We have fucking good news in the world for a bit. (Well, at least the US.) Anyways, this chapter's been written since early October! But uhhhhhh. Anyways, it's a melding together of Torchwood and my other favorite thing - late night talk shows. (In case you wanted to know, which you didn't, I love Late Night With Seth Meyers.)
> 
> Also, just cause I can, at in this verse, at some point, Jack hosts SNL.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Nervous?” Jack asks Ianto conversationally, rubbing his hands together as they lurk in the wings of the stage of Bill Potts’ late night show, waiting to be called on as guests. 

“What do you think?” says Ianto with just enough snappishness to indicate to Jack that he is, indeed, a bit nervous. Jack can see it in his body language too. Over the past couple months, he’s become well-versed in the multiple stoicisms of Ianto Jones. The slight downwards slant of Ianto’s smile, the barely noticeable tremor in his hands by his side, the fact that he’s straightened his sleeves three times in the last five minutes.

Yeah, Jack decides, he’s nervous.

“It’s not too bad,” Jack continues, stepping a bit closer to place a gentle hand at the nape of Ianto’s neck. The tremor in his hands seems to cease with Jack’s proximity. “I’ve met Bill before. She’s quite witty and bubbly. You’ll like her!”

“It’s not about Bill.” Ianto sighs, leaning into Jack’s side. “I’ve never been on a late night talk show before. I’ve never been on a talk show at all.” Then he whispers, “Will we be able to keep up the ruse on such a large platform?”

Jack grins, which Ianto warily returns. “It’s just an interview,” he replies, turning to face Ianto completely now. He takes both of Ianto’s hands in his now, and they gaze intently at each other. “Ignore the audience. Or embrace them! Play off me; I’m your scene partner, and this is just an audition.” His grin widens, becoming a bit cocky. “We’re certainly brilliant actors.” 

“Brilliant, yes,” murmurs Ianto, ducking his head slightly to avoid Jack’s sincere expression. “Humble? No.” When he lifts his head, Jack notices how he’s blushing brightly. “It’ll be alright, I guess.”

“That’s the spirit!” says Jack blithely, squeezing Ianto’s hand in gentle reassurance. “Everything will work out fine. Bill’s gonna love you!”

“Mr. Harkness? Mr. Jones?”

Both of their heads snap to the side in alarm; they were so caught up in their little bubble of each other that they didn’t notice the backstage usher approaching them. She stands there, wringing her hands together, clipboard clutched tightly to her chest, waiting for their utmost attention. 

“Yes?” Ianto asks politely, smiling at her.

“They’ll be ready for you on set soon,” she tells them. Then she presses a hand to the slim headset she’s wearing, listening to some form of instructions, and her brow creases, eyes widening. “Scratch that. They’re ready for you _now_!” Frantically, she ushers them towards the curtain, and Jack and Ianto allow themselves to be shoved forward.

As they stand there, a moment before they are to make their entrance, Jack finally realizes he’s still clutching Ianto’s hand. He tightens his grasp once more. Ianto doesn’t react or give any indication he felt it.

Then, just as Jack hears the announcer call his name, he feels a slight reassuring squeeze of his hand. 

Jack smiles and steps forward.

* * *

**Transcript from tonight’s broadcast of Late Night With Bill Potts**

_[Catchy pop music fades out, the furor of the audience's applause growing, as the camera zooms out and focuses up on a young, gorgeous Black woman seated behind a simple mahogany desk cluttered with colorful pop culture artefacts and mugs. The desk is set in the corner of a colorful stage with a simplistic design. Right next to the desk is a modern grey loveseat. A sleek white end table separates the loveseat from a matching armchair._

_The woman wears an easy, open smile, elbows propped on the desk as she leans forward. Her natural hair is worn as a cloud of tight curls, and only her upper half is visible, clad in a cream-colored blouse and a sharp light blue suit jacket. She’s Bill Potts, teenage actress turned standup comedian and now late night host at only twenty-six.]_

_Bill Potts: [Smiling and nodding, waiting for the applause to die down]_ Hello, folks! We’re back! Thanks for sticking around! _[A beat]_ Now, before the commercial break, I’d told you that I had two very special guests for you, audience. Are you ready to see who they are? _[The audience bursts into enthusiastic applause again, and Bill bops her head excitedly. She can’t keep the grin off her face.]_ Alright! Alright! _[She inhales.]_ You know him from as a staple on Broadway and - occasionally - West End, where I had the delight of seeing him on-stage, and even the occasional superhero or science fiction show: Put your hands together for Jack Harkness! 

_[The enthusiastic applause returns as big band music begins to blare. Bill rises from her desk to reveal the full length of her light blue suit as she makes her way towards the left side of the stage, from where a tall, broad-shouldered man saunters onto the set. He’s sharply dressed in a dark blue checkered suit matched with a white dress shirt and light pink pocket square and is movie-idol-handsome - dimpled square jaw, twinkling blue eyes, and a rakish grin that only grows when he catches a glimpse of Bill. He’s Jack Harkness, one of Bill’s two guests for tonight._

_All smiles and waves, Jack dances along to the music as he makes his way towards Bill. Finally at her side, they exchange smiles as Bill says something inaudible to him. Then Jack leans down to wrap Bill into a tight hug before dropping a kiss on her cheek. As he steps away, he murmurs something to her that causes her to bark a laugh before he makes his way to sit on the half of the loveseat closest to the desk._

_The music fades, but the audience only roars louder because they now know who the next guest must be...]_

_Bill Potts: [Still giggling]_ So that was Jack! _[She turns back to her audience, clapping her hands together. She raises her voice to be heard over the cheering.]_ Now, you may or may not know my next guest, but if you don’t, that’s a bloody shame! He’s an incredibly talented actor and has dominated the West End and other London and Cardiff stages, and he had a compelling arc on a BBC miniseries last year! Please welcome Ianto Jones!

_[Ianto Jones, also tall, broad-shouldered, dark-haired, and blue-eyed like Jack, is a few years younger and has sharp cheekbones to be envied._ _He’s wearing a sleek suit of dark teal over a herringbone shirt in gold and ivory, a dark red tie completing the look. His lips are curled into a smile that is polite but not as open as Jack’s as he’s sounded onto the stage by orchestral music. He greets Bill with a neat kiss pressed to her cheek, and as he moves towards the loveseat, Bill makes an inaudible comment that causes him to chuckle. His smile becomes more genuine._

_When Ianto nears the loveseat, Jack glances up and shuffles over to make room for Ianto, smiling brightly at the other man. Ianto takes his seat, hand brushing along Jack’s until Jack latches on, intertwining their fingers together. The men exchange looks that could be classified as familiar and almost adoring. As the music begins to fade, the camera zooms out and refocuses on the entirety of the stage.]_

_Bill Potts: [Finally seated behind her desk again, she turns to converse with her two guests.]_ Welcome, welcome, gentlemen! I believe it’s both your first times on this show!

_Ianto Jones: [Nodding]_ Actually, it’s my first time on a talk show, period, so thanks for having us, Bill. I really admire what you’ve been doing with your career. 

_Bill Potts: [Smiles widely, ducking her head]_ Ah, thank you, Ianto. You’re far too kind. _[She lifts her head again.]_ I was in London a few months ago and got a chance to see you as Macbeth. You truly are brilliant. It was almost frightening how uncannily you were able to disappear into the role.

_Jack Harkness: [Beaming and cutting in as Ianto blushes brightly]_ He _really_ is brilliant, isn’t he! _[Tone adoring]_ The first time I saw him on-stage, I was entranced. I couldn’t look away. _[He leans in close to press a kiss to Ianto’s cheek. Ianto only blushes more deeply.]_

_Bill Potts: [Eyes lighting up with delight as she smiles]_ Now that you’re brought up the elephant in the room...let’s talk about it!

_Jack Harkness: [Completely straight-faced]_ Yes, let’s. _[He pauses.]_ All three of us are wearing blue suits, but clearly, you look the best! _[The audience laughs faintly.]_

_Ianto Jones: [Rolling his eyes but not hiding his smile]_ Enough with your flirting, Jack. _[He knocks his hand against Jack’s gently.]_ You’re not her type.

_Jack Harkness: [Pouting at Ianto]_ But I’m yours. _[His tone is teasing.]_

_Bill Potts: [Watching them curiously and giggling slightly]_ I don’t mind. Really! _[Straightens up in her seat]_ Now… the actual elephant in the room! _[She pauses.]_ A few nights, the both of you seemingly made your first appearance at a red carpet premiere as a couple! _[She pauses again, literally quivering with excitement.]_ Is it true? Can you two confirm? Are you a couple?

_Ianto Jones: [Exchanging a pointed glance with Jack, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Bill]_ Yes. Yes, we are. _[He breaks into a wide, nervous grin, glancing at Jack again. Jack returns his smile, pressing a bit closer. Someone in the audience sighs happily. Ianto’s expression becomes a bit sheepish.]_ It...feels a bit odd to admit that, after everything. We’ve been dating pretty much in secret for the past few months.

_Bill Potts: [Leaning in excitedly, her elbows propped on her desk]_ Tell us everything! How did you two meet?

_Jack Harkness: [Sounding a bit awestruck as he squeezes Ianto’s hand]_ Like I said, I saw Ianto on-stage last June, and I couldn’t look away. He’s so dreamy-

_Ianto Jones: [He cuts Jack off, his blush bright against his pale Welsh skin.]_ But we didn’t meet properly until his agent Gwen, who is also a friend of mine, introduced us at a party she hosted. We-

_Jack Harkness:_ -talked the entire evening. We didn’t leave our own private corner at all. By the end of the night, it felt like I’d known Ianto my entire life. _[He smirks slightly, aware that Bill and the audience are hanging onto his every word.]_ So we exchanged numbers.

_Ianto Jones: [He picks up from Jack as they talk in; they really do sound like a couple.]_ Right after that, I was on-stage in London, and Jack was in Canada filming. We couldn’t exactly meet in-person, but we texted for months. Then in January, he flew up to London-

_Jack Harkness:_ -and I took him out for the night. _[He grins softly, exchanging another glance with Ianto.]_ Half-way through the night, we were struck by the fact that we were actually on a date. _[His voice drops to a whisper.]_ We never looked back. 

_Bill Potts: [Grinning with an infectious energy]_ Oh, that’s so bloody adorable! _[She leans back in her seat.]_ Can I just say how inspiring it is to see another openly queer couple? _[A pause.]_ Now, Jack, you’ve been very open about your sexuality since the beginning of your career, and you’ve been quite loud in your refusal of labels. _[Jack smirks, Ianto rolling his eyes affectionately.]_ Whereas you, Ianto… _[Ianto stiffens slightly in his seat but relaxes when Bill continues.]_ You’ve been a bit more reclusive, but you’ve always been out as bisexual for a few years now. Did any of this factor into your decision to make your relationship public?

_Jack Harkness:_ Oh, absolutely! Ianto and I are both in points in our lives where our separate identities as queer men and actors can coexist without jeopardizing our careers. But so many young queer folks, and I suppose we all can attest to this, you included, Bill, are closeted because they are scared or won’t be safe if they come out as their true selves. _[Briefly, his expression darkens. Ianto squeezes his hand gently.]_ It felt almost irresponsible of Ianto and I to stay hiding when we aren’t in a similar danger. We want to show other queer folks that two prominent queer men can be happy and in love, and we want to give them some courage and hope for the future that they can find similar happiness.

_[At this point, there is a pin drop silence in the studio, most of the audience watching Jack in awe during his speech. Bill nods in agreement, her smile a bit wry. Ianto’s expression is stoic. Then he speaks.]_

_Ianto Jones:_ Exactly, Jack. _[He smiles proudly at his “boyfriend.”]_ Excellently put. _[He inhales sharply.]_ I certainly know that a fifteen-year-old quiet boy growing up in Newport could have used some hope at one point in his life.

_Jack Harkness: [Beaming as his tone becomes a bit more flirtatious and jovial]_ And then it’s also like I said: if you’ve got it, flaunt it! And Ianto Jones is too gorgeous for me to not have him on my arm. _[There’s a few twitters of laughter from the audience, and Jack’s smile grows.]_

 _Bill Potts: [Head tilted]_ How have the two of you acclimatized to being in a relationship with each other? Especially you, Jack, considering that in the past, you’ve-

_Jack Harkness: [Cheerfully]_ -considering my promiscuous activity?

_Bill Potts: [She snorts in amusement.]_ I was going to say considering that in the past, you haven’t had many relationships, but whatever works for you! Go ahead.

_Jack Harkness:_ It’s not that there weren’t people in my past that I considered relationships with, but...we never worked out well enough to be long-term.

_Bill Potts: [Softly]_ So what is it about Ianto? That made you ready for a relationship?

_Jack Harkness:_ I… _[He exchanges a glance with Ianto, eyes tender.]_ I think Ianto Jones is worth settling down for.

_[A hush falls over the audience as they raptly watch Jack and Ianto. Even Bill has nothing more to say, her eyes slightly wide.]_

_Ianto Jones: [Finally]_ I think Jack is worth settling down for as well.

_Bill Potts: [Nodding as she peers past the camerawoman and audience to her studio producer who is tapping on her watch]_ Well, I’m glad that the both of you have managed to find happiness, and I wish you much more in life. Thank you for coming on my show. _[She turns to the camera again.]_ Looks like it’s time for a break! This was Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones! Coming right up after the break is former pop star turned award-winning actress Rose Tyler!

_[As danceable pop music flares, drowning out the audience’s applause, Bill turns to chat enthusiastically with Jack and Ianto. The camera draws back and zooms to the left before cutting to commercial break.]_

* * *

When the interview is finally, _finally_ over and he and Jack are shuffled off-stage, Ianto heaves a long-pent-up sigh of release.

It’s not that it was a boring or particularly stressful interview. Bill was quite kind and pleasurable to converse with, and she has this bubbling confidence and humor that puts her guests at ease. Still, Ianto hates interviews. He prefers the stage, where he can slip into any role, any character, that is not Ianto Jones, quiet Welshman who hates discussing himself and his life. 

Ianto’s grateful that Jack was there by his side the entire time, as he always has been these past few weeks. In fact, despite the brief time they’ve known each other, Ianto cannot imagine his life without Jack Harkness.

The same Jack Harkness who is currently flashing him that bright, charming smile that never fails to make electricity arc up and down Ianto’s spine.

“That wasn’t a total shitfest,” Jack jokes. “May I even dare say that went...well?”

“You may,” replies Ianto dryly as they head towards their respective greenrooms, which are - conveniently - right next to each other. “What are-?”

“ _Jack?_ ” comes a husky, sweet voice.

Jack glances up, and his eyes widen, features lighting up with _a sheer happiness_ that Ianto’s never seen before. It’s so bright and enthusiastic that Ianto’s almost jealous of this newcomer, although he cannot understand why, his stomach twisting slightly at the idea that he’s not the recipient of Jack’s expression.

The other man has wrapped a petite blond woman in a tight embrace as he lifts her up, spinning her around. The woman, rosy-cheeked and brown-eyed from the brief glimpse of her features Ianto caught, is giggling with joy. Finally, Jack places her down where she wobbles on her tall heels slightly. Jack leans down to snog her thoroughly, his hand going to tangle in her hair.

The woman bats him away. “Shouldn’t be kissing me, Harkness,” she chaztises happily in a faint Cockney accent. “Weren’t you just on-stage with your new boyfriend?”

“Ianto doesn’t mind,” chirps Jack. He shoots Ianto a glance. “Do you?”

“N-no,” Ianto stutters, cursing his nerves. Jack finally steps aside for him to get a good look at the woman, and he recognizes her as Rose Tyler, famed pop star and talented actress. She is also, Ianto recalls vaguely, one of the celebrities Jack was romantically linked to almost a decade ago.

Rose surprises him by striding towards him to wrap him in a tight hug. Ianto’s nose ends up wedged in her silky hair, which smells of sweet vanilla.

“I’m so happy to meet you, Ianto!” she gushes. “Ever since I saw the news, I’ve wanted to meet the lucky man who could woo our Jack into settling down. The bastard,” - she shoots a glare towards the beaming Jack - “didn’t even have the decency to tell me himself.”

Ianto isn’t sure how successful he is in recomposing his expression, but he sounds very calm when he tells Rose, “That does sound like Jack.” Jack’s smile instantly turns into a pout, and Ianto snorts. “It’s very nice to meet you, Ms. Tyler.”

“Call me Rose,” she says, winking at him. “No need to be so formal.” She brushes a lock of blond hair from her face. “I watched your interview while I was backstage, and you both make such a lovely couple. I’m so _happy_ for you, Jack!”

“Oh, Rose.” Jack sighs. A shadow passes briefly over his expression before he’s back to smiling. “It’s been too long.”

“Far too long,” Rose agrees. “We should rectify that. Come to dinner at my home. You, Ianto, me, and some old friends. Let’s catch up.”

“That sounds like a plan,” Jack replies, bouncing slightly on his heels, arms crossed at the small of his back. “How are you? How have you been? How’s the family?”

“I’m wonderful,” Rose says. “Mum and Dad are doing well. So is Tony. He’s almost twelve now.”

“ _Tony?_ ” Jack’s eyebrows rise in disbelief. “No way! Last time I saw him, he was still a toddler.”

“That’s what children do, Jack,” Ianto cuts in, rolling his eyes. “They grow.” Thankfully, both Rose and Jack laugh, neither of them noticing how snippy Ianto sounded.

Rose makes to reply, but immediately, the same backstage usher from before appears by her side. 

“We need you by the wings, Ms. Tyler,” she says, offering Jack and Ianto an apologetic smile.

“Oh,” says Rose, eyes widening in surprise. She allows herself to be led away but calls over her shoulder, “I’ll still be holding you to that dinner, Harkness!”

“Noted!” Jack calls back. Then he turns to face Ianto again, quivering with excitement. “That was Rose. Man, I haven’t seen her in _forever._ She’s so gorgeous. I love her.”

“She did seem quite lovely,” Ianto agrees truthfully, even if he doesn’t know how he feels about encountering one of Jack’s exes. 

Briefly, he wonders in alarm if he’s dug himself too deep with this fake relationship. If he’s truly capable, the way Jack seems to be, of compartmentalizing for the cameras.

But he knows that even if he isn’t, there will be no stepping away now. He doesn’t think he’s capable of stepping away from Jack Harkness.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr [here](http://princess-of-the-worlds.tumblr.com/) or on Twitter [here](https://twitter.com/rajkumarinik). I tweet and reblog mostly Torchwood with occasionally amusing commentary on nonsense. Please come talk to me and tell me if/how much you like my fic or like ask me about it on tumblr; all my schoolwork has become remote now, and I have limited social interaction. 
> 
> And if you have any future ideas for this verse or something you'd like to see, drop it in the comments!
> 
> No, I quite mean it. I'm trying to plot the rest of this verse ahahahahha.


End file.
